Wednesday, January 14, 2009

A List of Poems I Will Automagically Reject

  1. Anything about the state of your or someone else's soul, spirit, etc.
  2. Sex poems that are only about sex or the lack thereof.
  3. Poems about sex with your or someone else's soul, spirit, etc.
  4. Homages to a girlfriend/boyfriend/significant other.
  5. Homages to a dead rock star.
  6. Poems about having sex with a dead rock star.
  7. Poems that are merely prose with line breaks.
  8. Poems about how living with your mother drives you crazy.
  9. Poems about having sex with Satan.
  10. Poems about your mother having sex with Satan.
  11. Anything reliant on adjectives.
  12. Anything centered.
  13. Lists of clich├ęd rhetorical questions about love.
  14. Poems not written/translated in English (sorry, that's my native tongue).
  15. Poems which peak way too soon.
  16. Poems which are too obvious.
  17. Poems which are only about the act of writing (way too meta)
  18. Poems about shampoo. Not that I have anything against shampoo, but all that rising and repeating . . .
  19. Anything marked "©" or "Copyright 200x". Like our culture truly values poetry.
  20. Anything attempting to be "cute" in a Hello Kitty way. 
  21. Hentai poetry.  No foolin'.